


ur scute

by Shadowspeaker



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Endgame OiYama, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Secret Relationship, Sort Of, Yamaguchi Tadashi-centric, mentions of tsukkiyama - Freeform, which is unrequited
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-07-19 21:55:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19981135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowspeaker/pseuds/Shadowspeaker
Summary: "At the moment all Oikawa Tooru can see is freckles. They splay out across the boys cheeks trailing around his eyes and the edges of his face, maybe there are even more to be seen when his face wasn’t flushed from crying..."AU where Oikawa and Yamaguchi meet the summer after Yamaguchi's second year of middle school, how they meet and fall in love.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I thought this ship was really cute and I think that they could be really fluffy together so I wanted to write something that was more positive and looked at their relationship and Yamaguchi and Tsukki's relationship because my tiny freckled boy deserves the best.  
> Title from the Song ur scute by eburnean

Yamaguchi decides to confess to Tsukishima in their second year of junior high. It’s probably the only reckless thing that Yamaguchi Tadashi has done in his short life, but he’s completely enamored with the tall blonde that had become his accidental savior. He thought about it a lot, since his crush developed over the school year, and he wanted to stay in Tsukki’s shadow for as long as he was allowed. He thinks Tsukki is so cool, and that he’s really beautiful. From everything that he’s over heard from the girl in his class he thought that meant it was a good idea to confess. He wasn’t sure if it was okay for him to like a boy but he was sure about his feelings and Tsukki was still his friend. He wouldn't make fun of him or tell other people… at least he hopes so. 

He borrows some paper from his mom’s craft supplies, a pale blue paper because he thought it was cool and Tsukki would like it. He’d made a mess of himself with glitter and glue but the letter looked pretty good with gold glitter on the sides of his dark blue confession. He folded up the letter and put it in a white envelope, closing it with a moon sticker he’d found in the house a couple of weeks ago. He addresses the envelope carefully. He placed the letter in Tsukki’s shoe locker at lunch time before meeting up with his friend at their usual spot. 

He’d asked Tsukki to meet him after school out behind the athletic fields, it seemed like a good enough place. Yamaguchi doesn’t put his name on the letter wanting to be cool enough to at least show up and tell Tsukki his feelings in person. He’s nervous all day, sick to his stomach, but near the end of the school day he finds himself feeling excited. Tsukki was cold to everyone except Yamaguchi, he never let anyone be his friend, he barely talked to anyone else, that had to mean maybe he would accept Yamaguchi’s feelings too, right?

Yamaguchi runs down to meet Tsukki after class before it occurs to him that he has to be waiting for him to confess. But then it occurs to him that Tsukki might worry if he doesn’t see him in their usual place. He whips around the corner still panicking about what to do when he sees the letter in Tsukki’s hand, the eyes behind his glasses scanning the page quickly. He yelps quietly hiding before peeking around the corner once more. With his brow furrowed Tsukki folds the letter back up and replaces it in the envelope and throws it in the trash. Yamaguchi turns around pressing his back to the wall trying to make sense of what he’d just seen. 

“Are you ready to go?” He startles looking up at Tsukishima who’s waiting for him to join him and walk home the way they usually do. 

He doesn’t know what else to do except nod, so he does and falls into step beside his friend the image of his letter falling into the trash on repeat in his head. 

“You look sick,” Tsukki says, not looking at him as they take the familiar route home. 

“Haven’t been feeling well,” Yamaguchi said but it sounds very far away. 

“ _ Tch _ , you need to sleep more.” 

“Sorry Tsukki,” he muttered. They walked the rest of the way in silence until they meet the street Tsukki takes to go home. He said goodbye like every other day, but it felt different.

Yamaguchi walks past the street his house is on and goes towards the park nearby. It’s a beautiful day warm but not too hot since summer isn’t yet in full swing. The sky is blue, the grass is green, the water of the park lake blissfully still. Yamaguchi plants himself under a big tree and stares at the water until his vision starts to blur with tears. 

He sits with his back against the tree trunk crying quietly at first, mind blank as the pain of what just happened actually sinks in with him. Eventually his mind kicks back online and he thoughts are a flurry of regrets and sobs start to wrack his body. He’s devastated, he feels stupid for hoping that anything good could come of his actions, for thinking Tsukki would accept his feelings. He pulls his knees up to his face and sobs without abandon, just an insignificant figure in the shade of a park tree with a broken heart. 

Oikawa is late. He was supposed to meet Iwaizumi at the park with some other friends about an hour ago but there were some girls waiting to confess and he couldn’t resist stopping for milk bread on the way.  _ Iwa-chan is already upset _ , Oikawa thinks as he enters the park,  _ no use in rushing now _ . He pauses mid stride noticing someone hunched at the base of a large tree not far from the path. The person is so out of place in the park on a day like today that Oikawa is drawn to him immediately. He walks closer, seeing that the figure is in a school uniform he doesn’t recognize.

“Are you alright?” Oikawa asks, leaning forward, head tilted to the side curiously. The boy gasps, sniffling loudly as he jerks his head up. Oikawa’s eyes widen as he takes in the tear-streaked face in front of him. A normal person might’ve first noticed the boy’s puffy eyes or the tears and snot, or even just the distress etched into every feature of the boys face but at the moment all Oikawa Tooru can see is freckles. They splay out across the boys cheeks trailing around his eyes and the edges of his face, maybe there are even more to be seen when his face wasn’t flushed from crying. 

The boy is quick to turn his face away and Oikawa frowns, finding himself wishing he could have looked longer. He shakes his head a little bit, taking off his backpack and pulling out a pack of tissues. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry,” Oikawa says offering a tissue to the boy. The green haired boy peeks over and drops his knees a little bit reaching a shaking hand for the tissue. 

“T-thank you,” The boy mutters. Oikawa shoots him his best smile. Oikawa’s phone buzzes in hand with a message from Iwaizumi saying he’s leaving soon if Oikawa doesn’t hurry his ass up. 

“Here,” Oikawa offers up his package of milk bread which the boy accepts confusedly. “I’ve got to run, but I hope that whatever’s making you sad gets better soon. Bye-bye Freckles-chan!” He leaves quickly partly because the boy left him feeling a little off kilter–in a good way– and also because he’s  _ really _ late now. Behind him, under the tree sits a confused boy with a package of milk bread in his lap, and he’s no longer crying.

  
  


Yamaguchi thinks about the bread boy all week. Things with Tsukki are the same as they’ve ever been on the outside but the rejections still a fresh wound whether Tsukki is aware of it or not. He tries not to think about how beautiful Tsukki is anymore or what it would be like to date him. Those things were dangerous to think in the first place. Only now when he pivots his mind away from Tsukki they go straight to the kind stranger with his fluffy brown hair and brilliant smile. It’s not a crush really, Yamaguchi doesn’t know the slightest thing about the boy after all. He wonders if the boy would have done what he did for anyone, or if he could have known just how much it meant to Yamaguchi in that moment to have someone actually see him and care about him even a little bit. It takes a few days to realize that he really wants to see the bread boy again.

He doesn’t frequently go to the park but he finds himself thinking that maybe he should. He doesn’t know anything else about the guy after all, not a name or even a hint at what school since he wasn’t in uniform. A loud bark shakes Yamaguchi from his thoughts. He looks down his Australian Shepard, Taro. She looks at him intently with her gray eyes and Yamaguchi laughs. 

“Want to go to the park?” He asks, pulling down her leash. She jumps around him excitedly, her spotted ears flopping everywhere. He doesn’t really take her to the park because she’s still being trained, usually her walks are just through the neighborhood where there are less distractions. “We’re looking for someone,” He tells her squishing her face, “Charming bread boy with great hair, let me know if you see him.” She jumps some more as if she understands and he smiles as he slips on his shoes. 

They don’t see him, but Taro does much better with the park than Yamaguchi expected. He takes her back whenever she starts getting antsy now and she comes home happy and tired. His mother comments on how nice it is to not have her running underfoot so much when she gets home from work. He doesn’t forget about the bread boy, but walking Taro becomes the main reason for going to the park over summer break. 

Of course that’s when it happens. 

The walk starts off like any other, the park is a bit busier that normal since it’s a weekend but Taro’s been a lot better with distractions lately staying at Yamaguchi’s side instead of pulling the leash. He’s gotten much more relaxed with monitoring her. He gets a text and he pulls out his phone to read it. Tsukki is cancelling plans with him because his brother invited him to some college campus visit. Yamaguchi sighs, thinking about his response. He’s not mad of course, in fact he’s glad that Tsukki is going to spend some time with Akiteru, but he feels like Tsukki brushes him off too easily sometimes and that makes him think about the letter and it brings his mood down really quickly. He’s about to type his reply when suddenly Taro barks and takes off running, ripping the leash out of his hands. 

He curses, taking off after her but he’s just a little bit too far behind her since he was distracted. He calls her name but she doesn’t let up even for a second, running with everything she’s got. Of course she gets loose on one of the busiest days the park has seen. He loses sight of her eventually and his heart sinks. He tries not to panic, still calling out her name clearly. He wonders if she would eventually be able to find her way home if he couldn’t find her. Just when he thinks that this searching is pointless, he turns around and spots Taro. She’s happily being petted by someone sitting in the grass.

“Taro!!” He calls with relief running towards her and then the person petting looks up and Yamaguchi stops dead in his tracks. 

“Freckles-chan!” The boy calls happily, smiling easily at Yamaguchi.

“B-bread boy?” He stammers, looking uncertainly at his dog with awe.

She seemed to be smirking back at him.

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you @ anyone who is reading this for indulging in a rare pair <3  
> I started to feel self conscious about the pairing and this story over all so if you leave kudos and comments it means a lot

Oikawa’s day just got a thousand times better. It’s not what he would have expected from suddenly having his knees taken out by the dog in front of him, but the sight of Freckles’ tearless face in front of him is enough to make him forgive.

“Did you just call me bread boy?” he asks the other smiling.

“You didn’t exactly leave me with a name last time,” Freckles says looking down shyly. “And you just called me Freckles,” He tries to defend and Oikawa definitely doesn’t like the way his nose wrinkles at that.

“Well, I liked your freckles,” Oikawa says easily and something in his chest hurts when the other looks back at him with shock and disbelief like he’s never considered that a possibility before. 

“Is this your dog?” He asks Freckles to change the subject and also because the dog has now laid across Oikawa’s legs.

“Yes, I’m sorry if she caused you any trouble! She just suddenly got away from me.” Oikawa decides he likes this voice, even if it’s pitched a little high with embarrassment right now. Freckles moves closer to take the leash from him and Oikawa can’t quite resist the urge to brush their fingers together. He bites down on another smile as the boy drops the leash and hurries to pick it up again. The dog seems to not want to move from her place in Oikawa’s lap now even as her tail wags energetically. 

“I’m so sorry about this,” The boy says again trying to tug her away. “She’s usually pretty good on walks. It’s like she’s suddenly smitten.”

“I can’t blame her,” Oikawa says, throwing his shoulders back. “I’m a catch!” 

The boy laughs and it’s a gentle kind of bubbling noise and all Oikawa can do is smile in return. He gestures to the dog who has left his lap now, almost as if she knows that she’s done enough to get them talking.

“Does she have a name?”

“Uh yeah, this is Taro.” 

“And her owner?” The boy’s blush returns in full, as he realizes he still hasn’t introduced himself. 

“Yamaguchi Tadashi,” He says sheepishly.

“Nice to meet you Yama-Chan, I’m Oikawa Tooru.”

“N-nice to meet You Oikawa-san,” He says politely. Oikawa can tell he didn’t expect the nickname, but people never do. He loves nicknames, everything is just more fun that way. 

The boy looks shy for a moment looking down at the ground and peeking up at Oikawa once more to speak.

“At least now I have a chance to say thank you, for the last time I mean. You couldn’t have known but it meant a lot to me that you stopped,” He takes a really deep breath looking down again. Oikawa is almost grateful for his view from the ground where Yamaguchi’s face can’t be obscured. 

“I’m glad I could help,” Oikawa says, catching Yamaguchi’s eye and holding his gaze. The moment has gone on too long to be comfortable and Oikawa starts to feel awkward or embarrassed which is unacceptable. He casts his gaze to the side and catches sight of his volleyball that rolled away when he was knocked down. “Oh shoot, let me grab that before it gets any further.” He jumps to his feet securing the ball before returning to Yamaguchi, who has also now stood up. He realizes that the boy is just a little shorter than him. 

“You play Volleyball?” Yamaguchi asks, gesturing at the ball.

“Yup! I was the starting setter for Kitagawa Daiichi,” Oikawa informs him proudly. 

“Whoa, that’s a power school!” Yamaguchi exclaims, looking at him in awe.

“You play?” Oikawa asks eagerly.

“We don’t have a volleyball club at my school but I play on a team at my rec center with a friend of mine. Hopefully we’ll be joining a team when we go to high school.”

“What position do you play?”

“Middle Blocker.”

“You should practice with me sometime!”

“Are you sure? I’m probably not as good as the other players you’re used to…”

“I’m sure you’re plenty good Yama-chan,” Oikawa declares, slinging an arm around Yamaguchi’s shoulders, ignoring the boy's quiet yelp. “It helps me a lot to work with different people, it means more variety in my sets.”

“If you’re sure,” Yamaguchi says unconvinced. 

“Not today though. It’s too hot and I’m hungryyyy,” Oikawa pouts. He feels Yamaguchi’s shoulder’s shake with laughter under his arm. 

“There’s a place not far from here that has really good ice cream. My treat since my dog decided to accost you.”

“In that case, how can I say no? Lead the way Yama-chan.”

They walk together the few blocks to the ice cream shop Oikawa chattering away about anything and nothing. At first he is startled by how friendly Oikawa is to someone he just met, someone like Yamaguchi. But Oikawa doesn’t give him a single moment to stumble or protest the chatter and soon Yamaguchi finds that he enjoys the sound. It’s so very different from the stoic silence that is always there with Tsukki. Oikawa has so much energy rolling off him and Yamaguchi is surprised at just how much he likes it. He even finds himself contributing and arguing with him about what aliens would look like. They tie Taro’s leash on a table outside while they go in and get their ice cream. 

Yamaguchi gets a scoop of salted caramel in a cone and Oikawa surprises him by getting a scoop of vanilla bean in a bowl. He feels somewhat mollified when the other proceeds to cover the cup in rainbow sprinkles. 

“Is Vanilla your favorite?” Yamaguchi asks as they find a table to sit at. 

“Is that boring?” Oikawa asks, scrunching up his nose as he plops into the chair right next to Yamaguchi.

“I don’t think so, it seems to suit you somehow.”

“Are you calling me boring Tada-chan?” Oikawa pouts sticking out his bottom lip. He seems to pretend pout a lot and Yamaguchi finds it amusing instead of annoying. 

“I told you I don’t think it’s boring,” He says with a chuckle licking at the part of his ice cream that drips. “I think it's that you seem like the type of person to appreciate things that are underappreciated.”   
“What makes you say that?” Yamaguchi looks to Oikawa. His tone has changed and his expression is more serious, the carefree demeanor that’s always around him has slipped away. He’s not being mean, there’s just suddenly a certain gravity to his words that wasn’t there before. Yamaguchi feels a little trapped under his gaze as he considers the question.  _ Well, you’re the kind of person who wants to spend time with someone like me, _ is what he thinks but doesn’t say. But still, it’s like Oikawa has read his mind.

“Because I’m spending time with you? Yama-chan thinks too little of himself.” Oikawa says with a sigh, gesturing at Yamaguchi with his spoon. Yamaguchi blushes brightly, not knowing what to say to that. Oikawa returns to his bubbly self in a flash though and starts up a whole new conversation so fast that Yamaguchi has to forget about his uneasiness in order to keep up. 

Eventually they have to part ways when Yamaguchi’s mom starts texting to ask where he is. He exchanges numbers with Oikawa before they leave.

“There’s a place that is a little farther from you than the park but they have a gym that we can use to practice if that’s still okay with you,” Oikawa says when he hands back Yamaguchi’s phone. 

“That would be great!” Yamaguchi says excitedly. He’s not very good at volleyball but still he likes it and he really wants to be good enough to play in high school “If you think I can get there on my bike then I’d love to.” He thinks about asking if he can invite Tsukki but his bitterness comes back and he thinks he will be selfish and keep his new friend all to himself.

“Mm, you’re frowning again.” Oikawa says leaning forward and pinching Yamaguchi’s nose between his pointer and middle fingers. “That’s not good Yama-chan, you’re going to get permanent wrinkles before we even make it to high school. You’ll have to see me again soon so we can work on that.”

Yamaguchi finds himself laughing as he pushes Oikawa’s hand away. He wonders why he doesn’t find Oikawa’s forwardness off putting. He probably wouldn’t be happy if he met any other person who thought they could touch him or call him nicknames after only knowing him for a few hours.

“Whatever you say Oikawa-san, I’ll talk to you soon!” He says waving as he starts in the direction of his house.

“Bye-Bye Freckles-chan!” Yamaguchi sticks his tongue out at the nickname and the sound of Oikawa’s laughter seems to carry him home. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo I write my stories really out of order, but i'm going to try to update once a week. Just know that even if i take a while i will update eventually and i do have a lot written for this story.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So very sorry for updating late, I just moved and didn't have time for a chapter.  
> I cannot express how much this is not proofread please forgive me

“Tsukki!” Yamaguchi calls excitedly running towards his friend the next day to walk to practice together. He’s still absolutely elated that he made a friend on his own. He’s decided that he never keeps anything from Tsukki and there’s no reason to start now, so he’s excited to tell the tall blonde everything he’s learned about Oikawa so far and even possibly invite him to practice together when Oikawa asks. 

Tsukishima doesn’t appear to have heard him though and as he gets closer he sees his friends shoulders shaking and his fists clenched. 

“Tsukki?” Yamaguchi asks again as he comes closer. He’s become familiar with Tsukki’s temper. Yamaguchi quickly checks his phone for messages knowing that the only person who can make Tsukki angry like this is his brother Akiteru. 

Yamaguchi really admires Akiteru Tsukishima. The boy is cheerful and kind and easy to talk to. He also really cares deeply for his little brother, one of the things that Yamaguchi appreciates the most about Akiteru. He knows Tsukki loves his brother just as much, and so sometimes he wonders how it is that they always get into such big fights with each other. Then again, maybe it’s for that very reason. He’s about to send a text to Akiteru when a notification pops up from Oikawa. He forces himself not to look at it because he knows Tsukki needs his attention more right now. 

“Are you okay?” Yamaguchi asks, aiming for casual as he falls into step next to his friend and dialing his energy down so he doesn’t annoy his friend. 

“Akiteru always thinks he knows what’s best for me,” Tsukki growls out under his breath. “Why does he think he can tell me what to do? I’m not an idiot!” 

“Hey,” Yamaguchi says quietly as he reaches out a hand to place on Tsukki’s shoulder. He’s pleased when the other boy doesn’t shake him off. “What happened?”

He lets Tsukki rant to him until he’s all out of anger. Yamaguchi helps him talk through the situation and by the time they reach the rec center Tsukki is calm and cool once again. He thanks Yamaguchi sincerely, smiles in a way that is really rare these days and makes Yamaguchi’s heart stutter. All throughout their practice Yamaguchi notices that Tsukki compliments him more. He still gets a warm feeling in his stomach when he thinks about Tsukki. Occasionally he wonders if he should try to confess again, more directly but decides against it. He doesn’t want to ruin their friendship. 

_ Friendship. _

Yamaguchi startles and stops walking, whipping off his backpack to grab his phone. He’d completely forgotten that Oikawa text him! Oh god, what if he’s ruined his new friendship already? He opens his texts at light speed to read the messages from Oikawa.

_ Yama-chan! I was thinking we can practice together this weekend if you’re free?  _

_ I hope you’re not ignoring me already Yama-chan ( ˃̶͈ ̯ ̜ ˂̶͈ˊ ) ︠³ _

Yamaguchi laughs out loud typing his reply.

**_Sorry! I had practice and my best friend was really upset and needed to talk._ **

**_This weekend should be fine for me, where should I meet you?_ **

Oikawa replies with an address and then a story about one of his teammates that makes Yamaguchi giggle. They exchange messages all throughout the evening and Yamaguchi loves it. Tsukki has never been big on texting for no reason, but Oikawa seems to be able to make conversations out of the littlest thing. Before he knows it, it’s already time to go to sleep. He says goodnight to Oikawa.

_ Sweet dreams Yama-chan ꒰◍ᐡᐤᐡ◍꒱ _

On Saturday afternoon Yamaguchi shows up to the place that Oikawa said they would practice. It’s further than Yamaguchi thought it would be but he figures the bike ride is good exercise too. He wonders if he should message Oikawa but spots him leaning against the counter as soon as he walks in. He’s got a volleyball tucked under his arms and he’s chatting with the receptionist, a big smile on his face. He looks comfortable, his smile is genuine and his whole frame is relaxed. The receptionist looks up towards Yamaguchi and it draws Oikawa’s attention away from her.

“Hey Yama-chan!” He says with a wave.

“Hi Oikawa-san, I hope I’m not too late,”

“Of course not,” He says waving off Yamaguchi’s concern. He says goodbye to the woman at the counter and leads Yamaguchi towards the gym.

“Do you come here a lot?” Yamaguchi asks.

“Yeah! Sometimes for myself but I mostly practice at my school with my teammates. I used to come here when I needed to be alone…” The tone of his voice makes Yamaguchi think that there’s more to that story than is being said. He doesn’t pry, and as they stretch Oikawa has already taken on a new topic. 

“What are we working on then?” 

“I need to practice my serves but it’s probably better to start with sets for now.” Yamaguchi doesn’t question that, he could always use the spiking practice. 

“What kind of toss do you like?” Oikawa asks him as Yamaguchi pulls a ball out of the basket. Truthfully no one sets to Yamaguchi enough for him to have many preferences. 

“Uh, a bit lower I think. My jump isn’t the best...”

“No fear Yama-chan, I’ll have you spiking better than ever in no time.” He turns and smiles at him. “Don’t worry if we miss a few.”

Yamaguchi nods, lips stretching up against his will to return the others' smiles. Oikawa motions for him to toss and Yamaguchi lobs the ball high in the air running up to the net to spike. He has to wait a little longer than normal for the toss and as a result almost misses entirely.

“Oh, sorry I forget my new teams’ pacing is a slower tempo. I’ll set quicker this time.” Yamaguchi nods and they continue. After the first few tosses things even out a bit and Yamaguchi is spiking with relative ease. Honestly, it feels amazing. Yamaguchi is not a primary spiker for his team so most of the time his spikes only have a 50/50 chance of success. 

“You’re incredibly talented,” He tells Oikawa, genuinely impressed. 

“Why thank you Yama-chan!” Oikawa gives him a mock bow. “You’ve got a lot of potential as a spiker, maybe we can find some others to practice with someday and you can show me how you block.”

“I don’t think I’m that good. I didn’t even know how to ask for a toss, you just kind of figured it out for me. Better than any of my other teammates.”

“I have experience true, but I’ve worked with lots of players before, trust me when I say that you have talent too.” Yamaguchi nods shyly trying to accept the compliment.

“What am I going to do with you?” Oikawa says, suddenly much closer looking down at the other boy. Yamaguchi tilts his head to ask what he means but the other just continues. “You focus better than lots of plays I’ve worked with, you have the drive and determination to be a starter, just not the confidence, I would be happy to see you block. I’m sure you’re better than you think you are, well in a lot of respects.” He smiles and Yamaguchi can feel his face burn red. Oikawa walks a few feet away gesturing for Yamaguchi to receive. He tosses to the younger boy and they recieve back and forth, when Yamaguchi misses one Oikawa claps. 

“I get to ask a question!” Yamaguchi nods and smiles, understanding the game he’s created.

“Why did you join volleyball?” 

“Honestly, because I was scared of everything else, the other kids…”  _ Bullied me relentlessly and hated me,  _ “Didn’t really like me. I wanted to join a sport to make friends.” Oikawa’s piercing gaze seems to catch his omission just like the last time but he serves the ball back into play anyway. Yamaguchi again is the first to drop it.

“What year are you?”

“I’ll be starting my third year in middle school. You can ask another if you answer too.”

“I’m about to be a second year in high school. Do you know what high school you’re applying for?”

“Not yet.”

“You could join me at Aoba Johsai!”

Yamaguchi can’t help the laugh that explodes from him. “I’m pretty sure I’d never be able to afford a school like that.”

“Never say never Yama-chan,” He pouts as he puts the ball back in play.

“Even if I did go there, you strike me as the popular type. Are you sure we could be friends?” Yamaguchi muses.

“What makes you think I’m popular?” Oikawa counters. Yamaguchi ponders it a moment as they pass the ball between them.

“You’re really confident, but it’s more than that. Your personality can change really suddenly, like you’re used to putting on a face to be picture perfect for others.” Oikawa misses the ball on it’s return. Yamaguchi feels a satisfaction pool in his gut.

“Am I right?” He asks, trying to keep the pride out of his voice.

“My Yama-chan, you’re far more observant than you seem,” Yamaguchi watches him swallow hard. “You are correct.”

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” Yamaguchi says immediately, panicking. Oikawa laughs deep, genuine. 

“Can I tell you something?” Yamaguchi nods and he goes on, “I wear a lot of different masks for others, you were right about that,” Oikawa nods and licks his lips nervously. “You seem to be a very rare person though Yama-chan. The kind of person I can really be myself around.”

Oikawa looks away, embarrassed by his admission. Yamaguchi feels his heart swell hearing his new friend be so sincere. 

“I feel the same way. I don’t really have many friends, it’s hard and scary and people always disappear after awhile. Even with Tsukki, I think I’m always more worried about what he thinks than about being myself. You make it easy to be myself.” 

Yamaguchi finishes and then processes what he said. His face feels on fire and he’s about to take it all back when Oikawa speaks. 

“That’s exactly it.” He looks over at the other boy and they smile almost in sync. 

They continue playing their made up game until it’s past time for them to head out. He learns that Oikawa’s favorite food is milk bread, that he loves j-pop (something they have in common), that he’s really close with his older sister, that his best friend and him have lived on the same block their whole lives, and perhaps most importantly that his birthday is July 20th, a mere month away. 

“Text me when you get home,” Oikawa tells him as he mounts his bicycle. “You’re far too young to be running around these streets at night.”

“You’re only two years older than me!” He protests.

“Maybe when you’re my age you’ll understand,” Oikawa tells him dramatically. Yamaguchi rolls his eyes but as he rides away they’re both laughing. 

He wonders if being around Oikawa will always make him giddy like this. If they’ll always smile and laugh together, if that’s what friends are supposed to do. He’s known him for such a short time but it doesn’t feel like it.

Will time with Oikawa always mean good natured laughs and smiles? 

Maybe, probably not, no way of knowing. 

He’ll just have to wait and see. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tsukki is soooo angsty in this story, I'm sorry if it seems like I don't like him at times but I promise I do and i have a happy ending in store for him. Shoot me with your head canons about Yamaguchi and Oikawa together or separately I'm not creative, need help (´；ω；`)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is shorter than I anticipated and i am sorry for that! Eventually there will be longer and nicer chapters though

“Are you even listening to me trashykawa?” 

“Hmm?” Oikawa finally looks away from his conversation with Yamaguchi. Iwaizumi is looking over at him frowning. 

“I thought you wanted to hangout today,” Iwaizumi grumps.

“Iwa-chan we are! We’re here, aren’t we?”

“I let myself into your house, and you haven’t listened to a single thing I’ve said since I got here.”

Oikawa narrows his eyes at his friend. “How long have you been here actually?”

Iwaizumi doesn’t justify that with a response, grabs the pillow from Oikawa’s bed and hits him in the face with it. 

“Okay, fair, I get it.” Oikawa sends one more text to Yamaguchi letting him know that he’ll be busy for a bit. “Let’s walk to the convenience store!”

“You just want milk bread.”

“True but if we go get snacks when we come back, I’ll watch Godzilla with you.”

“Fine, lets go.”

They start their walk to the nearby corner store. Oikawa is humming a senseless tune like he normally does. 

“You’ve been busy this break.”

“Are you missing me Iwa-chan?”

“Idiot.” Iwaizumi scowls. “‘I heard you’ve been going to the rec center lately.”

Oikawa glances at him a frown threatening to appear but it’s quickly smoothed away. 

“That’s what you’re mom told me anyway,” Iwaizumi adds. 

“It’s like they forget that I’m their real son,”Oikawa clutches his chest. 

“Oikawa,” Iwaizumi grabs his arm and stops them both. “If this is like before–”

“I’m fine, I promise!”

“I’ve noticed too, you always take a volleyball with you.”

“I always take one to the park too, you know that. I don’t go to the rec center everyday you know.”

“More often than not though.”

“Iwaizumi I swear I’m not over exerting myself. I have the report from my doctor just last week. My knee is getting better and the rest of me is fine too.”

“What are you doing then? If not working yourself to death.”

Oikawa licks his lips, the truth on the tip of his tongue but unwilling to pass. He tells Iwaizumi everything, especially if he asks. He’s certainly asking. Oikawa isn’t lying about his health, his knee really has been fine. His practices with Yamaguchi are far from serious, they’re more about spending time together than they are perfecting any specific technique. So why is admitting that the reason he’s been so busy is that he’s made a new friend? He thinks about Yamaguchi’s genuine smile and soft laughter. Setting to him is fun and easy, he likes to watch the determined expression break into pride when he connects with the ball. He likes a lot of things about Yamaguchi. 

“I just go and practice and bum around, it makes me happy.” There, that’s not a lie.

“By yourself?” Iwaizumi presses, still suspicious.

“Yes, you meddling, overbearing, mother hen. Is that so hard to believe?” 

“You’re not over exerting yourself? You know better than to lie to me.”

“I’m not pushing myself at all.” He crosses his heart holding up his hand.

“Fine.” Iwaizumi resumes their walk leaving Oikawa to catch up.

This wasn’t the first time that he’s lied to Iwaizumi, but this is somewhat important and more to the point, there’s no reason to lie. He’s not ashamed of Yamaguchi. In fact he’s proud as hell to be able to call him a friend, spending time with him makes Oikawa really happy. 

He’s still contemplating why he feels so torn about this after they leave the store, and head home.

Yamaguchi is so interesting to him.He shines so brightly but doesn’t see that same shine himself. He’s selfless and awkward and fun to talk to. He keeps up with Oikawa’s stories and banter, and he’s really cute, his eyes make Oikawa’s inside feel like they’re melting and–

_ Oh _ .

Iwaizumi has set up the movie and retrieves their bag of snacks, plopping down next to his friend unaware of his internal conundrums.“Are these yours?” He asks pulling out a bag of sour candies that Oikawa recognizes as Yamaguchi’s favorite. 

“Yeah,” Oikawa says, softly taking the bag. “They’re for later.”

Even though Oikawa studiously keeps his eyes on the screen and never once touches his phone he doesn’t absorb a single thing about the movie. If he spends that whole time realizing that he wants to hold Yamaguchi’s hand and take him on dates and kiss his freckles, well, he doesn’t share that with Iwaizumi either. 

–––––

“Oikawa-san, are you alright?” He hands Oikawa his hamburger from the food truck and settles next to him on the grass. 

“What do you mean?” Oikawa asks, feigning ignorance. 

“You seem off today,” Yamaguchi muses dipping a french fry into his ice cream. “If something’s bothering you, you can always talk to me.”

They eat in silence for a while and Yamaguchi waits. He’s used to waiting out Tsukki’s temper tantrums so he has no problem letting Oikawa sort through his emotions for awhile.

“Schools starting up again soon,” Oikawa finally says. 

“Yeah, are you excited to get back to your regular practices?”

“Yeah, I’ll be a starter again this year for sure.” Oikawa smiles thinly.

“But?” Yamaguchi presses because they still haven’t hit on the problem.

“You’re starting your third year of middle school, that’s got to be exciting.” Oikawa says, deflecting.

“I haven’t figured out what high school I’m going to so that's kind of stressful. But otherwise yeah, I went book shopping with Tsukki the other day, so I’m all ready. Well, as ready as I can be for these brutal advanced courses.”

“We won’t have as much time to hang out anymore,” Oikawa says. His voice is even but his hands are nervously ripping up little pieces of grass.

“Maybe not as much, but I’ll still gladly make time for you, Er– if you want to keep hanging out I mean!” Yamaguchi feels his cheeks burn, and he’s suddenly wondering if maybe Oikawa is nervous today because he  _ doesn’t  _ want to hang out anymore and doesn’t know how to ask.

“You mean that?” Oikawa asks. Yamaguchi looks at him and nods shyly. 

“Besides you text me a lot, I don’t expect that to end anytime soon.”

“Sorry, I know I get carried away sometimes.” Yamaguchi hides a smile behind a spoonful of ice cream. It’s not like Oikawa to be apologetic for anything. 

“Don’t worry I like it. I like hearing from you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

Yamaguchi offers Oikawa a spoonful of his ice cream and is surprised when Oikawa leans in and accepts it from him directly, reaching out and holding Yamaguchi’s wrist still. He has to fight the urge to pull away but as quickly as his panic comes Oikawa is already pulling away acting like nothing ever happened. 

Something is different, and something is weird about the way that Oikawa has been acting lately. He’s hiding something but Yamaguchi just can’t understand what. At least, it doesn’t seem to be about their friendship. They still get along as well as ever. Hopefully if he’s patient enough Oikawa will tell him what’s on his mind. He can wait, so long as they can keep meeting each other like this, Oikawa can have all the time he needs. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you guys expect Oikawa to catch feels first?


	5. Chapter 5

The first few weeks of school, Yamaguchi and Oikawa’s relationship stays the same. Oikawa basically texts in every free moment he has and sometimes they even facetime on their laptops after school. They are both pretty busy with school and with volleyball so it’s a good way to stay connected.

“The team noticed I’ve gotten better right away,” Yamaguchi says chatting with Oikawa on facetime. It’s late and Oikawa had just gotten home from his late practice when Yamaguchi finished his homework. They seemed to be amazingly in sync that way a lot of the time. “I guess I’ve never played with this much confidence. So, thank you Oikawa-san.”

“I didn’t do anything but practice with you. And Yama-chan haven’t I told you to drop the honorifics?”

“Maybe when you cut back on the nicknames,” Yamaguchi says sticking his tongue out at the screen. Oikawa sticks out his bottom lip but it barely covers up his smile. 

“We have to get back to it Yama-chan! If you’re going to attribute all your talent to me, we better keep practicing.”

“You don’t have practice on Mondays right? I can start coming up to our gym on Mondays so we can practice and hang out.”

“Sounds perfect Yama-chan,” he replies with a soft smile. 

“Are you sure? I don’t want to make you practice the only day off you get.”

“It’s not a problem Yama-chan. I’ve missed our time together anyway.” Yamaguchi feels floored by how simply he says that. Has anyone ever valued his time the same way that Oikawa has? It makes him feel special and warm inside. 

“I’ve missed you too.” Oikawa smiles but it quickly melts into a long yawn and Yamaguchi chuckles. “You haven’t even showered yet, and you have to be exhausted. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Nooooooo! I don’t wanna hang up,” Oikawa says petulantly. 

“You have to, you have to sleep.”

“I don’t want you to go.”

“I’m not gonna disappear,” Yamaguchi laughs. 

“Promise?”

“You have got to be exhausted,” he says shaking his head. “Okay I promise.”

Oikawa holds out his pinky to the screen and Yamaguchi humors him by doing the same and miming hooking them together to complete the childish promise.

“Goodnight Yamaguchi!” Oikawa says cheerily and Yamaguchi hangs up after returning the sentiment. 

Yamaguchi brushes his teeth settling into bed and realizes that Oikawa used his full name. For some reason it makes him blush.

  
  


Monday’s are their days from then on. Yamaguchi always tells Tsukki that he’s busy helping his mom or doing homework. As a consequence he has to do those things late into the night on days Tsukki wants to hang out and he has no excuses. If something really important comes up they are both pretty good at letting the other know. That’s why, one monday about halfway through the school year, when Yamaguchi shows up at the center, it’s out of character that Oikawa is not already waiting for him. Twenty minutes later Oikawa runs in through the door. 

“I’m– _ hhh– _ sorry!” He pants out. He rests his hands on his knees still breathing heavily.

“You didn’t have to run all the way here, you should have just texted me,” Yamguchi tells him as he offers his water bottle. 

“I couldn’t message you, didn’t want you to think I was bailing on you.”

“You’re ridiculous, do you want to just go get some food?”

Yamaguchi doesn’t get mad, not even when it keeps happening. When Oikawa is later and later every week. Sometimes it’s not so bad and sometimes Yamaguchi waits over an hour. He loses his patience one week when he had declined an offer from Tsukki to go downtown to the music store and instead ended up waiting in front of the rec center like a loser for forty minutes. 

Today is the first time he gives up and leaves before Oikawa arrives. He’s walking his bike down the road when Oikawa appears as usual, panting and apologetic. 

“Yama-chan, please don’t go. I'm so sorry.”

Yamaguchi doesn’t look him in the face, shifts uncomfortably looking down at his shoes. 

“Can you just tell me why? Are you getting bored of me? We seem fine every other day, over skype and text, I just don’t understand.”

“Of course I’m not getting tired of you! You’re like my favorite person! I mean maybe tied with me and Iwaizumi for first place but still–”

“Then why do you keep standing me up like this?”

“I don’t mean to, I keep hoping it will stop,” Oikawa looks down at his bag and sighs running a hand through his hair. “I feel like I owe you french fries.”

“You’re not wrong.”

“Let me buy some for you so we can sit and talk?”

They go to the park, sit side by side, Yamaguchi doesn’t ask before dipping his fries into Oikawa’s ice cream. It’s as much aggression he can really muster. 

“I’ve always gotten a lot of confessions,” Oikawa begins and Yamaguchi raises a brow confused. “Being a starter now I have a lot more admirers and I get a lot of attention. It’s nice, I guess, nice that people like me. It’s crazy how much people I’ve never met care about me. But it’s also overwhelming and time consuming and  _ awful _ .” He reaches for his backpack and unzips it pulling out a thick stack of envelopes and chocolate even stuffed animals. There's at least ten letters.

“That’s a lot,” Yamaguchi says taking them from Oikawa’s hands.

“This is just today. Miyo leaves me food in my homeroom everyday even though I’ve rejected her multiple times, I’ve never eaten it because I feel bad, I usually give it to the guys on the team. Three of those girls confessed for the second or even third time I think.”

“Wait–” Yamaguchi tries to process. “You’re always late because you’re getting confessions?”

“Yeah, It’s stupid but Monday’s are the worst because everyone knows that I don’t have practice. Every other day I can escape to practice and after practice because I’m tired and they get that. But mondays.. And all I want to do is be here and spend real time with someone I care about but I feel so bad.”

Yamaguchi is looking through the letters. They are opened carefully, some with a letter opener. Each one has a label with a black marker in Oikawa’s neat round handwriting, name class and today’s date. 

“You really keep all of these?” Yamaguchi says flipping to one that also has a note that says  _ 2nd time  _ after the date.

“Of course I do, I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do with them but someone put a lot of effort into making those letters for me. Even though it’s not convenient for me all the time, my fans and admirers make it so that our team always has plenty of funds which means valuable practice, for everyone, not just me. They fill up our stands, carry the team.” Oikawa jabs his spoon into the melted remains of his ice cream with a sigh. “I can’t just throw away people’s feelings, people’s love, no matter how stressful it is, I respect them.”

“That’s really wonderful of you in my opinion,” Yamaguchi says quietly. “It’s really hard to give someone a confession. I can’t imagine that it’s any easier to receive them. The fact that you give them all your time, your respect, that’s amazing. They can’t really ask for anything more than to be acknowledged.”

“You’ve written a confession before?”

“Ahh, yeah awhile ago,” Yamaguchi rubs the back of his neck, fidgets, but Oikawa is watching him eager to hear his story. He’s never told anyone about this before, maybe he can trust Oikawa but he’s still scared. “I was convinced that I was in love with a friend of mine. They were so amazing to me and I thought it was natural to just write it out and deliver it to them. Honestly I was really excited, I didn’t even think about all the ways it could go wrong. I watched them open my letter that I slaved over for days, and they read it and threw it in the trash. They never even tried to come meet me. I guess I’m really relieved that I wrote it anonymously to save myself the embarrassment.”

“Yama-chan that’s horrible. I can’t imagine ever hurting you like that.”

“You can’t imagine hurting  _ anyone _ like that,” Yamaguchi points out gesturing with the letters.

“But you most of all,” Oikawa says really quietly. “Can I ask you something without you getting offended? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

“Sure,” He agrees.

“That letter… Did you write it for your friend Tsukishima?”

Yamaguchi’s breath hitches, his eyes feel wet. The ache of that whole experience still consumes him sometimes. He was hurt that day in a way that he’s never been able to articulate to anyone in fear of what they might say. But Oikawa doesn’t look upset or disgusted, so despite all the voices inside his head telling him not to, he nods.

“Yes I did.”

“Do you… do you still love him?”

“I don’t think so? I don’t know. He’s still so important to me, I can’t live my life without him. I do love him, but maybe I’ve accepted that we’re not right for each other, romantically.”

“It’s complicated,” Oikawa guesses.

“It’s complicated,” Yamaguchi agrees. “It’s hard knowing that I tried but not knowing what he would have really said. It’s hard because nothing changed at all for him.”

“There was a confession today I was really tempted to accept. Not because I had any real interest, but because they were so brave in a way I’m not sure I could ever be.” He shuffles through the envelopes pointing at a white envelope with pale blue dots decorating the outside.  _ Saito Hideyoshi Class 3B  _ the letter says. “Brave just like you were,” Oikawa says.

“I didn’t even think about it as coming out, I’ve never come out… I guess before now. I don’t even know what I am.”

“I do!” Oikawa reaches out and takes his hand, “You’re a wonderful, kind, loyal, insanely brave human being. You’re one of my best friends. Also you’re a little bit gay.” Yamaguchi laughs, a bit hysterical even to his own ears, and the tears start falling. “That’s okay, we’re two of a kind in that respect.” Yamaguchi’s head whips up to stare at his friend. “I guess I’ve never come out to anyone either. I don’t really know what I am either,” Yamaguchi watches him bite his lip looking hesitant. 

“We could figure it out together,” He says, gripping Oikawa’s hand tightly. “I never thought I’d meet someone else like me.”

“Me either.”

“You know in a way, I’m glad that Tsukki threw that letter away. I wouldn’t have been in the park that day,” He sniffs and looks into Oikawa’s eyes. “I never would have met you.”

“Life is amazing like that sometimes,” Oikawa says with a disbelieving laugh. 

“It sure is,” Yamaguchi says smiling. 

“So you forgive me for being late, like a million times?”

“I forgive you, I understand.”

They eventually stand and walk together. They always walk this small path together slowly since they have to part ways very fast. Yamaguchi misses the warmth of Oikawa’s hand in his. When Oikawa says goodnight and waves at him Yamaguchi wonders what it would be like to kiss him goodbye instead. He very vehemently denies this thought all the way home. 

  
  
  



	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hhh i know i'm kind of late  
> someone tell me if this makes sense lol

Oikawa is distracted. He’s distracted and tired. It’s not a good place to be he knows it but he can’t slow down this close to interhigh. His team has been training, practice matches all over the place, training camps. Travel has been a weary affair, Oikawa has tried to sleep in every free moment just to have his usual focus for the matches. 

Last week should have been the end of the rigorous training and back to the normal, but everytime Oikawa closes his eyes he sees Ushijima’s stupid face. 

His phone lights up and he curses softly. He’s meeting Yamaguchi today, after he leaves his Saturday morning practice. He looks fondly at Yamaguchi’s contact photo. He had gotten into the habit of forcing Yamaguchi to take selfies with him the same way he did with Iwaizumi. This was a more recent one, Oikawa has an arm thrown over Yamaguchi’s shoulder pulling him close for the picture. Yamaguchi was caught off guard but he smiled anyway, nose scrunched up in embarrassment, cheeks red.

Oikawa shakes his head and reads the message from Yamaguchi saying he’s arrived at the park. Quickly Oikawa packs away his gear and jogs out to his bike. His knee feels loose when he parks his bike at the park. He stretches and shakes his legs out, forgetting all about it when Yamaguchi comes bouncing over, visibly excited. Oikawa barely refrains from hugging him. They haven’t been able to hang out since Oikawa’s first training camp, a little over two weeks prior. He’s relieved to know that Yamaguchi’s presence still clears his mind, making him feel safe and content. Lately everyone has needed something from him, sets, serves, advice, pictures, praise. He juggles all these desires as best he can but his time with Yamaguchi gives him relief from that. Yamaguchi just wants Oikawa to be himself.

Yamaguchi is more talkative than normal and Oikawa is completely fine with that. Yamaguchi takes a lot of time to warm up but when he really gets going he has lots of opinions and passions. Oikawa likes listening to them all, likes watching Yamaguchi get excited and carried away or far away and contemplative. He’s caught up in that today, that’s why he gets in position to set and doesn’t feel that something is wrong until it’s too late.

He cries out as he shifts his weight to his right leg and it doesn’t support him. Collapsing, he groans tugging his injured knee close to his chest. It doesn’t feel like the first time, he probably hasn’t reinjured himself, just pushed too hard like Iwaizumi always feared. He hears the sound of his own breathing in his ears, too loud and too fast to be comfortable. There’s a noise, like someone calling his name but he’s too consumed with panic to acknowledge it. This is exactly what he didn’t need, on the one day he gets to see the one person who he doesn’t feel pressured by, who he can be one hundred percent himself with. Instead he gets to show one of the people he cares about how weak he really is. This is exactly the reason that he can’t get stronger, he’ll never be able to face players like Tobio-chan and certainly not Ushijima and Shiratorizawa. The work, the practice, the sleepless nights, it’s all for nothing, how can he say he’s earned his starting position? How is he supposed to be a captain when he’s so weak like–

“Tooru!” 

Oikawa sucks in a stuttering breath and he registers the pain in his lungs. He’s hyperventilating. There’s salt in his mouth, no on his lips? He realizes he’s crying. He struggles to pull himself together, slow his breathing, focus on everything around him.

“You called me Tooru,” He chokes out with a broken laugh.

“Oikawa, are you alright? I mean of course you’re not but are you hurt?”

“Knee,” He manages to say. He cringes, shaking with pain as he lays his leg flat for Yamaguchi’s inspection. Yamaguchi peels back his knee brace as gently as possible and still Oikawa hisses at the contact. 

“This is really swollen, I don’t see any bruising but you definitely need to get off your feet soon!” 

Oikawa must look as horrible as he feels because Yamaguchi’s expression grows soft and sad when he glances up at him. 

“Can you stand?”

Oikawa gets his left leg under him and lets Yamaguchi pull him up and help him hobble over to a bench. He leaves briefly, practically running out of the room to get ice and hurrying back with it just as fast. Yamaguchi presses the bag gently to Oikawa’s knee and Oikawa moves to take the bag from him and hold it there but Yamaguchi does not relent. Oikawa feels his cheeks burn, having Yamaguchi’s hand under his and he’s about to tell him he’s got it, when Yamaguchi speaks first. 

“What’s going on?”

“It’s an old injury, I sprained it pretty badly once, it partially dislocated. It’s been almost two years since that happened.”

“You’ve been careless.” The tone in his voice isn’t accusatory, more observational than anything. Oikawa sighs and slumps forward, his eyes burning once again when he thinks about the pressure. Yamaguchi is there this time though and he reaches out holding him upright. Without letting his grip on the ice pack slip Yamaguchi slips onto the bench pressed against Oikawa’s side. He looks at Oikawa with his tear stained face and waits. He demands nothing, just waits patiently to see what Oikawa will actually share with him. 

Very slowly Oikawa relaxes his weight against Yamaguchi’s side. The only person who has ever really understood any of the trouble and pain surrounding Oikawa’s injury is Iwaizumi because he experienced it first hand. He’s never had to share what happened with anyone else before, has never wanted to. 

But Yamaguchi is here now, a part of his life that he hopes he never has to lose. He doesn’t want to share all his weakness, his doubt, everything about him that makes him so  _ ugly _ but he will, because there’s not a doubt in his mind that Yamaguchi would share all of his scars if Oikawa was the one asking.

So he takes a deep breath, and starts to tell Yamaguchi about how volleyball is his number one passion in life. He tells him about growing up with Iwaizumi and learning the game with him. He tells him about being the best and being talented and being so very insecure when a certain brat of a setter easily started to uproot his place on his team. He talks about the first time a left-handed spiker with relentless power became an obstacle that he never figured out how to move. He tells him how he worked himself into insanity trying to be better, trying to be the best, and that’s why his knee will probably never be the same. He tells him things he’s never voiced before like how he thinks that his competitiveness is a curse sometimes because he can’t ever quit, and that he thinks his inadequacies on the court bleed over into his real life because he finds himself thinking he’s not good enough to be the best at anything despite that being all he works for.

“People aren’t born perfect,” Yamaguchi says when Oikawa finally stops speaking. “We make mistakes, hurt other people, hurt ourselves…” He looks at his hand holding a bag of melted ice and pulls it away from Oikawa setting it carefully on the floor. “You are allowed to make mistakes, and you are allowed to not be perfect for everyone you meet. I think it’s amazing how much this sport means to you. As someone who joined on a whim to stay out of trouble, it sometimes feels impossible to me to feel the things you describe when you play. It’s okay to push forward, and it’s okay to rest too. Just like Iwaizumi said, you’re never alone on the court and I hope you know you’re never alone in life either.”

“I don’t like to ask for help,” Oikawa says, embarrassed.

“No you don’t. But you love to complain, and if ever it starts to get too much you can come to me and just let it all out.”

“Only if you promise to do the same,” Oikawa relents, sticking out his little finger.

Yamaguchi smiles at the familiar gesture completing the pinky promise. 

“How am I going to get you home safely?”

“I’ll call my sister.”

As they waited for Oikawa’s ride in front of the rec center Oikawa smiled feeling lighter than he had in months.

“Are you still going to call me, Tooru?”

Yamaguchi sputters. “I was just trying to get your attention I didn’t mean to be disrespectful I never would have used it without asking I’m so sorry I–”

“Tadashi~” Yamaguchi cuts off mid rant and his face burns bright red. The sight brings Oikawa glee and he can’t hold back his laughter. “I didn’t mind it, but I’m okay with whatever makes you more comfortable.”

Yamaguchi shoulders him and pouts a little bit and Oikawa can’t help but feel like he learned that from spending time together. 

Even later after he gets scolded by his sister, his parents, the coaches and Iwaizumi, after a tedious trip to the doctor, a lasting ache in his knee and a week suspension from volleyball, Oikawa is smiling because he knows he’s gonna be alright.


End file.
